63% in Erewash say they face relentless criticism for early parenting choices

Discrimination and social pressure are crushing the spirit of early parenthood across Britain. Data shows that 63% of parents in Erewash have encountered criticism during those challenging early days.

Parents in Erewash also report being criticised for a range of issues: 17% for their baby’s behaviour in public, 16% for feeding choices, and 15% specifically for using a dummy, according to the research from M.A.M.

The negative feedback is described as relentless, with strangers providing 36% of the criticism and other parents 30%, while friends account for 20%, parents 18% and partners 14%. Nearly 44% of parents have felt that their parenting efforts were undervalued because of their gender, with 14% often and 30% sometimes experiencing this bias.

The backlash comes from all sorts of people, with a large majority coming from strangers (36%), followed by nearly a third (30%) of other parents, 20% by friends, 18% by their own parents and 14% by their partner. This was further reinforced by mothers feeling that their parental efforts were overlooked (40%) and undervalued. In contrast, over half of dads (49%) had feelings of being undervalued as a parent.

On the practical side, 69% of parents use a dummy primarily to help their baby sleep, and 38% turn to it as a last resort when other soothing methods fail.

Some 42% give a dummy every time they care for their child, underscoring its central role in daily routines. Yet concerns persist: 23% worry that frequent dummy use may lead to dental misalignment, 22% find weaning very challenging, and 14% fear it could delay speech development.

Social factors seem to have a smaller influence, with only 6% avoiding dummies in public due to fear of negative perception, 4% disliking the look of a dummy in a baby’s mouth, and another 4% being discouraged by not having used one themselves.

Feeding choices have long been a fiery area of debate, dominating conversations for years. However, the new data reveals that criticism related to feeding is now almost as common as that for dummy use, with 16% of parents being criticised for how they feed their baby compared to 15% for using a dummy.

This close parity in percentages signals that “dummy discrimination” is growing and intensifying, creating a new battleground for parental judgement. It is a reminder that parents are being scrutinised on multiple fronts, and that the freedom to make personal parenting choices is under increasing attack.

The emotional toll of external pressure is palpable. Approximately 26% of parents admit that the fear of judgement affects their social outings. Specifically, 11% actively avoid public places and 16% have skipped social events due to anxiety over being judged.

In response to negative feedback, 28% of parents have even considered removing the dummy.

Among those grappling with relentless scrutiny is Ashley James, a well-known presenter, DJ and mother-of-two. While pregnant with her second child in October 2022, Ashley received a letter from social services indicating that a case had been opened against her following anonymous tip-offs from social media users.

Believing these reports came from complete strangers, she endured immense emotional distress and invasive questioning from authorities, an ordeal that was only resolved after she hired a private detective to expose the malicious nature of the claims. Her experience highlights how harsh external criticism can escalate into serious consequences, adding more weight to the challenges modern parents face.

These findings are being described as a stark reminder that parents must be free to make the choices that best suit their children and their families without fear of undue criticism or discrimination. Despite the practical challenges and the emotional strain of social judgement, whether to use soothers or not, there are calls for the right to choose to be protected.

A statement said that every parent deserves the freedom to decide what is best for their child based on informed decisions and personal experience, rather than being forced into a single mould by external pressures.